Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 1.
I felt deeply ashamed of myself for not calling out to Tomoe and talking to her... I imagined myself in her situation and should someone I had taken a dagger for, just abandoned me and not even bothered to ask after me.... I should have been deeply, deeply wounded. Tomoe had tried to help me from the beginning, and I had mistrusted her and treated her badly, and she... she had taken that knife for me... my cowardice in being unable to face her did me no credit... Indeed... were I Lord Kenta, I would have me severely punished for my utterly shameful behaviour... I decided that I must steel myself, go to her once again and beg her to forgive me. I brushed my hair and put it up, and washed my face and then I went to find Tomoe again. When I found her this time, she was sewing, mending some bed linen... I hesitated long before coughing softly to attract her attention, she looked up and instantly, I felt my cheeks flush with shame, I lowered my eyes and mumbled something about hoping she was well... In reply I heard her say "My Lady..." I shook my head, surely I had misheard, Tomoe had never been told the truth about my identity... I looked up, confused and to my consternation, she was kneeling, forehead to the ground before my feet... panic filled me and I bid her get up... I asked her what on earth she was doing, told her that I was no Lady and that Lord Kenta would be furious with both of us... She made no reply but to bow even lower over her fingertips and I backed away from her, begging her to get up... to please just get up and stop all this nonsense...
Tomoe did get up, but she bowed and addressed me as "My Lady" again... my sense of panic grew and I backed away further... what could she be thinking...? Was this some sort of trap Lord Kenta had manufactured...? I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. I shook my head at her again, my eyes wide, anxious. Tomoe looked back at me, her face puzzled and she did address me in the most courtly language... "My Lady... Hast thou not seen....? Hast His Lordship not spoken with thee...?" I gazed at her, baffled. When first we had met, she had been capable of only the most peasant-like of language... someone had been teaching her during my.... absence... I had almost forgotten that such language could be spoken... At that moment, I did find myself all but unequal to the task of speaking at all... and simply gaped. Seeing my confusion, Tomoe turned and took a scroll of paper from an alcove, she handed it to me asking again "Hast thou not seen, My Lady...?" It was in his Lordship's hand, I should have known it anywhere; bold, flowing brushstrokes the envy of any calligrapher. I had never managed to keep a hand steady enough to produce lettering nearly as beautiful...~By my decree
All within my holdings are to recognise that the slave Kaede, is no longer a slave. The Lady Kaede will be addressed as befits her station, which is that of a Noble Woman. She holds my trust and shall see to the economic affairs of this House.
Lord Kenta~
As I read it, my mind seemed to shut down; though the words on the paper were not foreign to me... I could not understand what it said... I stood there, pronouncement in hand, shaking as I read it over and over again... Why had his Lordship not talked to me...? What reason could there be for his silence...? Was he planning to leave me...? In keeping with the ridiculous physical weakness that assails me of late, I lost consciousness... I awoke in my rooms... My Rooms... I did not recognise them at first... and I began to weep... I know not where His Lordship is... Why has he done this...? And how am I supposed to go on without him...?
Tomoe did get up, but she bowed and addressed me as "My Lady" again... my sense of panic grew and I backed away further... what could she be thinking...? Was this some sort of trap Lord Kenta had manufactured...? I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. I shook my head at her again, my eyes wide, anxious. Tomoe looked back at me, her face puzzled and she did address me in the most courtly language... "My Lady... Hast thou not seen....? Hast His Lordship not spoken with thee...?" I gazed at her, baffled. When first we had met, she had been capable of only the most peasant-like of language... someone had been teaching her during my.... absence... I had almost forgotten that such language could be spoken... At that moment, I did find myself all but unequal to the task of speaking at all... and simply gaped. Seeing my confusion, Tomoe turned and took a scroll of paper from an alcove, she handed it to me asking again "Hast thou not seen, My Lady...?" It was in his Lordship's hand, I should have known it anywhere; bold, flowing brushstrokes the envy of any calligrapher. I had never managed to keep a hand steady enough to produce lettering nearly as beautiful...~By my decree
All within my holdings are to recognise that the slave Kaede, is no longer a slave. The Lady Kaede will be addressed as befits her station, which is that of a Noble Woman. She holds my trust and shall see to the economic affairs of this House.
Lord Kenta~
As I read it, my mind seemed to shut down; though the words on the paper were not foreign to me... I could not understand what it said... I stood there, pronouncement in hand, shaking as I read it over and over again... Why had his Lordship not talked to me...? What reason could there be for his silence...? Was he planning to leave me...? In keeping with the ridiculous physical weakness that assails me of late, I lost consciousness... I awoke in my rooms... My Rooms... I did not recognise them at first... and I began to weep... I know not where His Lordship is... Why has he done this...? And how am I supposed to go on without him...?
posted by Lady Kaede @ 11:26
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