Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 14.

I find myself confined to my bed again. Sitting out in the fresh air served only to bring a chill upon me and I cannot move without feeling as though my head is splitting open... A cough racks my chest with almost every breath and the child has been continually fractious, kicking and writhing as if he wishes to join the world immediately. I have nothing with which to compare this experience of being pregnant; I do not know whether this is normal and perhaps feels worse than it is due to the chill or whether he is anxious and in danger... I cannot bear any more poking or prodding from the midwife and I feel sick at the thought of involving the physician who I am still convinced I cannot trust... I do not think I am dying but I do feel so terribly ill...

I asked Azusa and Tomoe to leave me because I wished so very badly to sleep but now I find that I cannot... I could summon one or both of them but perhaps some time in relative peace is a good idea... I have much to think on in any case... Sasanuma has been to see me again. He avoided the subject of our ... friendship ... and spoke only of my war effort; he says he has found a few good men who have been involved in similar ... work.. before. I did not ask. I do not think I wish to know... Sasanuma believes that they can be trusted to infiltrate White Lake and so... it will begin... I have asked him not to tell me the particulars since I need to be in a position to proclaim ignorance in the event they are caught and Sasanuma has not told them that they will actually be working for me...