Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 26.

I cannot stop crying. I have tried to pull myself together but each time I believe the weeping has stilled, fresh tears slide down my cheeks and wet my papers. I feel deeply uncomfortable dressed in silks; the sash binds my child inside me making him press down terribly and I am tired. I have been tired before, of course, but this tiredness is not like having gone without adequate sleep for a few days or even like being beset by the Summer Malaise... this has become exhausting... 
The mosquitos continue to drone and although they are bothersome, perhaps there is something about my ... condition... that prevents them from biting me; since I have noticed that their whine annoys me more than it ever has before, I have not been assailed by a single bite... I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to enter a traditional confinement; I do not wish to but I cannot see another way out. I could not live with myself if I acted deliberately to let the child die but with that reaslisation comes another which is that if I do enter a confinement, I cannot hide this pregnancy. I will have to give up House duties and hand them over to someone who would act on my behalf, I will not be able to receive anyone and I will have no choice but to announce the confinement to the Kingdom. Shunya and Yuki will run riot with this news... They may even see this as an opportunity to try and take Silent Thunder again... I cannot believe that they would have the nerve but then I would never have imagined that they would try it a first time and very nearly succeed... 
That aside, I do not know to whom I can hand over the House.  After the occupation, there is absolutely no one I can trust. I would trust Sasanuma but if I hand over to him, I am making a statement to the entire Kingdom that I am unsure I would want to make and it really should be a woman in keeping with our matriarchy... I have no choice but to hand over to one of my cousins, I think. Hikari, perhaps, or Kiku. I think I could trust either of them to do the right thing but I do not know if either of them is strong enough to stand in the face of another assualt by White Lake... Perhaps if I asked them to stand for me together... yes... that might be an acceptable compromise. I will discuss it with Azusa and draw up the papers...