Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 6.

I spent the rest of the day and the night in contemplation. I can no longer keep my condition a secret and yet, in order to protect my House, I know that somehow, I must. I worry about confiding even in Azusa, my head tells me that she has done nothing to earn my distrust but my heart plays tricks, feeding my feelings of suspicion and paranoia... indulging them. I would entrust my fears to Tomoe, but I know that she simply would not understand the intricacies of the House and its ways. In time, perhaps, when she has resided with us a while longer... but time is the one thing I no longer have. I must develop a plan... one which means I need not abandon my House for I have spent too long away... too long considering nothing but myself... I can no longer allow my life to affect my House; it is time to pull myself together and re-establish my presence as the Lady of the House and of the Kingdom.