Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 15.

Now that I have let the monks know about my child, I have had no choice but to confide in Azusa and Tomoe. Of course, they had already surmised the truth but felt it proper to say nothing until I had decided it was time to speak... Tomoe is of the opinion that a village mid-wife will be more suitable than the House physician; she thinks he cannot be trusted after he did little to help those afflicted by White Lake's excesses. She may well have a point. I have little trust in most of highly ranked staff who remained here and did nothing at all to protect those beneath them. I can understand self-preservation to a degree but the entire episode has left me with little faith in humankind. I do wonder idly whether I should exile them so that they may consider the error of their ways on White Lake's lands... or perhaps... no matter... for now, I shall simply ensure that secrets remain known only to those who absolutely must know them.
My back aches as I sit here writing and other parts of me feel swollen and heavy; the child has been more restless than it was yesterday... I must find someone with knowledge of these matters soon lest I encounter problems later on... My condition seems to be making me susceptible to the bite of the mosquito which serves only to add to my discomfort; even the sticks fail to keep them away of late but I cannot go about my business shrouded in a net... perhaps there is some sort of unguent I could apply to my skin...
I made my presence known at the evening repast earlier and as usual, it felt awkward and unnatural, especially given my latest paranoia regarding the possibility of spies... I have not yet had the strength to investigate the possibility of collusion among my relatives and the other courtiers but the thought has crossed my mind on several occasions... Why else would most of them have survived the ... occupation... all but unscathed...? There is much that makes no sense but I must concentrate for now on my war effort...

Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 14.

These past days have been fraught to say the least. It has been quite a challenge to recruit spies and an army without being found out. I have been giving the matter of war a great deal of consideration and I have concluded that in order to honour my House, I will not be able to wage an entirely honourable war. White Lake must not know we are coming until we are upon them. The other Houses must also remain in ignorance lest I ignite a Kingdom-wide war. This is not my intent, of course. I have no quarrel with most of the other Houses but I do not think I can ever rest again until I have razed White Lake to the very ground it stands upon. I fear that if the other Houses discover what I am about, I shall have to deal with them as well as White Lake which will lessen my chances of a speedy success. The child within me has been active these past few days and I tire easily but I must try to put it aside so that I can concentrate on avenging my House. 
So far, Azusa has interviewed the veterans who remained on my lands after White Lake left and all but three of them have agreed to fight once more for their House. I have had to promise all but the Moon herself in order to secure some younger men and still, we have only two cohorts. Azusa and I have talked extensively about tactics and our most senior military man is of the opinion that we must have at least twelve in order to take White Lake without too much blood on our hands. We must also leave cohorts behind to defend Silent Thunder for although White Lake is only across the border, it would be foolhardy to leave my own House completely undefended...
I ventured out to the temple yesterday evening and offered sutras and a lotus as the bells rang for evening prayers... the sticks burnt down completely as I knelt there communing with the Goddess but I know not if she hears me... I spoke to the monks and they pray constantly for my child... I have not told them my intentions regarding White Lake for monks wander and I cannot have the news spread accidentally ... nor can I be completely sure that another House has not planted a spy in my temple... it would be the perfect cover after all...a monk arriving for alms and shelter whilst he journeys about the Kingdom, deciding to stay a little longer... no one would raise even an eyebrow...Perhaps I should not have told them of my pregnancy... enough...! I grow even more paranoid. This self-indulgence will not win a war. I must sleep for there is much to be done in the morning...