Year of the Boar, Second Month, Day 30.

I have been ill these past few days and unable to write... even now, I do not know if I wish to commit recent events to paper, so distressing have they been... Lord Kenta did inform me a few days past that he would be entertaining a guest and that I was expected to serve tea and attend them until his guest did see fit to depart. Considering the other indignities he has visited upon me since my enslavement, I did not see this as being too much of a trial and I had calmed considerably since my last episode, largely thanks, I must admit it, to an herbal tea courtesy of my good friend Ariel, who seeks to help me any way she can... I had little idea that his Lordship meant to make me wait until late evening to attend him, and when I saw who his guest was - it was as if he had taken a dagger and plunged it deep into my breast. Had he done so, he could not have caused me more pain... For his guest was none other than that well-known harlot, Yuika of the House of the Dying Crane. My heart stopped in my chest, such was my anguish that I froze in my place at the fireside. Lord Kenta had evidently apprised her of our situation for when she entered on his arm, Yuika cast me such a look of scorn that I all but withered where I knelt. They took their time settling and then his Lordship did demand I serve them tea; all the while they simpered and flirted and whispered hotly into each others ears, I did my best to avert my gaze. When Yuika wrapped her arms languorously around Lord Kenta's neck, I did make to leave but he demanded I stay, saying that he had need of my services yet. But he asked nothing of me, just that I wait there and as the evening grew longer he did draw Yuika onto his lap and planting hot kisses on her neck, he pushed open her silks... And she... she threw a languid glance in my direction before she placed her hand over his and began murmuring to him... An icy shard of pain entered my heart and even as hot tears pricked the backs of my eyes once more, I could bear it no longer. As their embrace grew more heated, I crept from the room on trembling knees and stumbling down the back stairs I did flee the Tavern. Blinded by my tears I ran into the night, through the brambles which did tear at my hands and bare feet, I ran on into the darkness, uncaring of my life, only wanting to be free of the pain within me. I know not how long I ran, gasping for breath. The cold night air fair rent my lungs and as I tripped and fell over the Moors as I tried to escape my distress, there came an hour when I could no longer get up and I was pulled into the dizzying embrace of nothingness.
I know not how long I lay there unconscious. Nor how Lord Kenta found me, or if anything further did befall me in my unconscious state. We have not spoken about it. We have not spoken at all. His Lordship has not been unkind, he has treated me with courtesy, one might even say tenderness since I have been been confined to my bed. But he refuses to speak even a single word to me, if he wishes to communicate, he sends word via Ariel or a servant. I know not if his anger drives him thus, or if I am too far beyond redemption for him to bother with... and I... I am numb. I no longer feel anything. The icy shard that had entered my heart in the tea room, did spread its way through my chest and into the rest of me. A searing white hot pain washed through me, cleansing me, until the pain was so intense it went away, taking with it my ability to feel. I believe I have lost the will to care what happens to me now...